Delta Force: Abroad
by Healthcare.gov
Summary: The world is a big place, and lots of things happen in this world. People live, people die, and people do stupid things. And some of these stupid things lead to another, and another, and another. The world is prepared for a lot of things. The world was never prepared for them.


**Look, I know there are other projects to be working on, but this one wouldn't leave me alone.**

**Big thanks to Paras, the Lord of Fungus and Yaoi, otherwise known as Shroom Crab, and Lilac, Smut Master and the First Lieutenant of the S.F. KamiGino, also known as Ursa MJR, for providing some of the ideas featured here. Also a great big thank you to MemeDevil for being the best right-hand man I could ask for. **

**Welp, let the bullshit begin.**

* * *

Kamijou Touma. Tsuchimikado Motoharu. Aogami Pierce. Known by the entirety of A Certain High School as the idiot trio, "Delta Force", these three were infamous for their various antics involving a vast variety of actions and topics. Ranging from jumping the school fence just for lunch to talks involving several facets of the fairer sex, it was impossible to not have seen them in action. For example, if one of them was to propose a new reason for a fetish to be rated higher than another, at least one would respond with physical outrage, while another may take the more reserved approach of writing a 12-page essay on the subject to disprove the theory that no, White Bunny Girls are, in fact, inferior to Black Bunny Girls, which would be completely unrelated in every way, shape or form, but it would happen. Thus, blows would be exchanged, insults hurled every which way, until unstoppable force meets an immovable object and leaves the trio broken and bloody on the floor of the room next door, beside a massive gaping hole in the wall.

Surprisingly, none of them had been arrested. Yet. Maybe.

So it was a given that barely any females would interact with them. Besides a certain Forehead Deluxe, her forgettable sidekick, a sister/maid, and their homeroom teacher, no female would want to be within arm's length of the three of them. So you can imagine the shock permeating the air when a beautiful upperclassman approached them. Kumokawa Seria. Said to be one of the smartest people in her age bracket and one of the most popular people in the school, no, the district. Of course, the boys never noticed her coming as they were too busy picking themselves up after crashing through that hole in the wall.

"Excuse me, do you boys have a moment?" She said in a pleasant tone

"E-Eh? Is that… Kumokawa-senpai?"

Within milliseconds, the three were on their feet at attention, as if staring down the gullet of an angry plesiosaur.

"What is it, senpai?" They all said at once.

"Hehe. I was wondering if you three would be interested in taking a trip. You see, some circumstances arose, and certain things require my attention. So I'm suddenly left with three plane tickets and no one to take them, and it would be a shame if they were to go to waste…"

"I'm sorry, senpai, but I will have to decline," Kamijou said suddenly.

"As will I," Tsuchimikado said.

"Same here." Said Pierce.

"Huh? Why?" Said Kumokawa, in a state of shock mirrored by the rest of the student populace. These were idiots who were supposed to be putty in her hands!

"Well… Tsuchimikado and I both have various… domestic responsibilities and Aogami has multiple jobs he somehow holds down, so, unfortunately, we have various reasons why we cannot accept your offer." Kamijou said, dusting off bits and pieces of rubble from his hair.

"Yeah, sorry, but we'll have to pass," Tsuchimikado said in agreement. "We all have a lot on our plates right now."

And so, the three idiots walked right back through the hole in the wall from which they came, gathered their belongings and left, leaving Kumokawa in a state of shock.

_Feh… those three idiots… Don't they realize I'm giving them a way out? They don't know what's coming… _Kumokawa thought bitterly, as she left the room wearing her usual perfect smile, though it did carry a tinge of annoyance just this once. _They'll come around eventually. I'm sure of it. _That smile morphed into a smirk as she walked back down the hall.

* * *

The next day, Kamijou and Tsuchimikado were making their daily commute. Electing to get out of the house earlier as to minimize his contact with a certain nun/fairy combo, he had run into his friend in the lobby of their complex, and the two went on their merry way. But as they walked down the street, they came into contact with a pair of painfully familiar faces.

"Come on, Kuro-nyan, I'm not _that _bad, am I?"

"K-Kuro-nyan…?"

The blue mop of hair that was characteristic of one Aogami Pierce, and the twin-tailed demoness of Judgement, Shirai Kuroko. Oh boy.

Mere minutes earlier, Aogami Pierce had connected to the road from one of the various side streets when he witnessed a wallet snatching in-progress. Being the gentleman he was, he tripped the thief as he tried to flee the scene of the crime, and retrieved the wallet. But, as a citizen who had intervened, standard operating procedure dictated that he must be pulled aside for questioning. Aogami didn't know that. So when a cute loli Judgement girl took him aside into an alley to "ask him a few questions", some things occurred naturally.

_So this is how Kami-yan does it, _Aogami thought smugly, leaning up against the wall facing the officer.

"Ok then, this doesn't need to take long. My name is Shirai Kuroko, with the 177th Judgement Branch, and I'll be asking you a few questions about what happened during the robbery. Shall we begin?"

"Anytime you want," Aogami smirked. He'd lay it on thick and fast. She wouldn't resist him!

"Ok then. What's your name?"

"Aogami Pierce, or whatever you want it to be."

"O-Okay… What were you doing before you got here?"

"Walking to school, and into you…" He replied wistfully, with a look on his face that was supposed to feel like a "charmer" but instead gave off the energy of "a 50-year-old man purchasing a package of erectile stimuli." Not exactly a charmer.

Kuroko took a deep breath. "Ok. And what did you do to retrieve the wallet from the criminal?" She asked in as level a voice that she could manage.

"Well, as a true gentleman, I did what needed to be done." He replied mysteriously. Women liked a mysterious man.

"...I see."

Look at how resigned she was already! His masterful strategy was working!

"I need actual answers here. I understand you're… proud of yourself. But if this continues for too long, I'm going to have to bring you back to the office for further questioning."

"I would like that."

The tension in the air grew thick as Kuroko withdrew with shock.

"...What?"

"Come on, Kuro-chan. You know what to do…" Aogami kept "laying it on thick."

"If this keeps up, I'm going to have to arrest you."

"Oh, I would love that, Kuro-tan."

"T-Tan?" She withdrew even further. At that moment, there was a glint in his eye, which had previously remained closed, and Kuroko felt like she was being stripped by some invisible force. He was Aogami, after all. This series of events brings us to the present, with Aogami revealing his latest entry into his bizarre list of nicknames, and Kuroko feeling the most unsettled she had ever felt in recent memory. Now, Kuroko was someone of immense mental fortitude, being a mere middle-schooler but had taken part in many life-threatening situations, and suffered large amounts of pain at the hands of diabolical individuals. To her credit, she was dealing with this blue-haired dingus quite well. All that came crashing down when she saw that mop of spiky hair.

"Oi, Aogami! Stop harassing the ojou-sam- Shirai-san?" The hated man spoke.

"APE?!" She shrieked.

"Ape? D-Don't tell me… You and Kami-ya-GAK!" Was all Aogami managed to get out before her reflex took over. That being her "Anti-Ape Automatic Attack" reflex. Now, Kamijou was a smart guy when it came to certain things. His misfortune sense was on point for a good half of the time, and he had made sure to be out of range of Kuroko's kick. The neck of Aogami Pierce wasn't. Nothing more to be said. The guy collapsed like a sack of bricks. Sighing, the misfortunate boy and the blonde backstabber slowly approached the girl, who was frozen in a state of somewhere between anger and shock. Quickly apologizing, the pair grabbed their comatose comrade and booked it for school.

* * *

Sitting in class, the first half of the day had come and gone and Aogami had finally come to. Leaping forward, he wrapped his arms around the nearest person to him. That happened to be Kamijou.

"KURO-NYAN!" He yelled as he collided with the unperceived Kamijou. Soon coming to his senses, he looked aghast as he realized who was beneath him. "Eh? Kami-yan? What are you doing? I mean, I'm into a lot of things, but I sure as hell ain't into yaoi."

"The fuck? What the hell are you talking about? I didn't do anything! You just jumped on me, you fetish freak! Get the hell off me!" Came the misfortunate boy's embittered response.

"I am not a freak, I'm a king!"

"Yeah, a king of degenerates! Now get off me!"

"Not until you take me back to Kuro-nyan!" Aogami yelled. "There she was at her most vulnerable, and I could've swept her off her feet like the shining knight she deserves! And you ruined it!"

"Pfft, 'shining knight?' Don't get me started.'" Kamijou snorted. "You'd do nothing but freak her out with your 2-D addled brain!"

"As always, Kami-yan, you do nothing but make a fool out of yourself by constantly shoving your foot in your mouth! You forget that not only am I an archbishop of the church of 2-D, but I am a prime connoisseur of the 3-D as well! I understand the very ideals of beauty in all shapes and forms, no matter the dimension!" Aogami shot back, clenching his fist in the air dramatically before cutting it through the air as if he were a hot-blooded generic shounen protagonist delivering his "you're not living your life correctly" speech. At this point, it could very well have been a shounen fistfight, because the tension within the area the two boys were squabbling in was thick enough that it could block a tank shell.

"I'll give you a piece of my mind, then! You need to stop seeing the world as tropes and genres, you dimwit! You'll never get a girl, be it 2-D or 3-D, with those deluded bastardized fantasies!" Kamijou struck back.

"Then if I shall suffer like that for my ways, then I will have you know that you will NEVER get with a dorm manager onee-san, then! You refuse to see the bountiful garden of girls that is in front of you, and you continue to chase something you can't have, you bastard! You will never reach the dorm manager onee-san! _**Never!**_"

"What? Just because I have a dream that's actually within reason doesn't give you the right to trample all over it with your bullshit! And once again, I don't even have a goddamn harem, and even if I did, I'd throw it all away if I was with you, you piece of shit!"

"How bold of you to assume I'd even consider being in your harem! You'd just neglect it all as you do yours already, leaving all those girls out to hang in the sun while you're goofing off trying to attain something you'll never achieve! I'll destroy your stupid dreams to make you see the truth in front of your eyes Kami-yan! So that the girls won't rip you to shreds, and by association, me as well! I'm saving both of our skins here."

Meanwhile, our third hero, the strangely silent Tsuchimikado, was simply enjoying a light lunch while trying to drown out another shitfest argument with his earbuds, which were probably turned up way too high for human health. However, when one is faced with either listening to blasting music or a Delta Force argument you had no part in, even a member of the aforementioned group would choose the lesser of two evils. Anyways, let's get back to the argument. This is the best part of the show.

"Are you kidding me? Just earlier you were talking about how you were into yaoi! Of course, I wasn't talking about being in a harem with you! And who's being neglectful? Don't go around spreading baseless rumours about this Kamijou's life, you pierced pervert!" Kamijou roared, slamming his hands on the table.

"Being a pervert means I'm honest about what I want!" Aogami fired back. "And how about you go ahead and pierce the girls around you? Pierce them to the fucking heavens for all I care, it's not like you would even notice them! How can you not see the obvious affection these females have for you? You are blinded by the falseness of your lowly dream that you cannot even see what you have! Wake up and smell the goddamn roses, you dense asshole!"

"Don't use my own words against me! Furthermore, pierce them? I'm not some sex-crazed maniac like you. All you're doing is exacerbating the long list of misfortunate misunderstandings that this unlucky Kamijou-san has to deal with! What's more, is you have the gall to insult my dream like that in such a blunt manner? Don't you dare downplay the dorm manager like that, you damned lolicon piece of shit! Nothing can ever compare to the gentleness of a big-breasted onee-san."

"Your display of ignorance is incredible, even for you! I dare you to just walk up to ANY girl that you find and tell her that she is nothing when compared to a big-breasted onee-san, and I can guarantee you that you will get the shit kicked out of you, you dumbass! Unlike your pathetic one-track brain, I care for more than just one low-tier fetish! It's like ignoring all the minions and trying to beat the end boss at Level 1! It doesn't matter what tricks you pull, you're going to lose! Just accept my truth, because I'm trying to keep you alive!"

"Of course I would get my ass handed to me. Anyone would find it absolutely insulting if some random guy on the street walked up to them, and told it to their face that they were absolutely inferior! It's common sense! And frankly, this unlucky Kamijou-san would rather not add to the excruciatingly long list of bodily harm that he has to suffer each week. Furthermore, who's the ignorant one? You're the one who moves from trope to trope to trope every single day! Maybe if you actually acted like a normal human being, you wouldn't be sitting in your forever alone corner for the rest of your life! And for the last _fucking time, __**I DON'T HAVE A HAREM!**_"

"Speaking and acting like a normal member of society would be merely denying myself the true freedom of expressing myself! But enough of that, you still have the gall to say that you don't have a harem? Fine then. Confess to one of the girls you know right now! If she rejects you, I will never bring up the harem ever again!" Aogami declared, getting to his feet. This was it. The ace in the hole. Now, it's up to Kamijou to react.

"What girls are you talking about? Index? Mikoto? The only response I would get is the promise of undue bodily harm! I would have a better chance of getting Index to go vegan than to confess to any of them and receive a proper response! Hell, I'd fare better if I just asked _any random girl to go out with me!"_ Kamijou bit back. It's getting more intense than ever, folks.

"Then do it! Do it, you goddamn coward, DO IT! PROVE IT TO ME THAT YOUR ABILITIES ARE FALSE AND THAT YOUR HAREM IS NOTHING BUT A MERE ILLUSION! IF MY DEDUCTIONS ARE SO WRONG, THEN PROVE IT TO ME, KAMIJOU TOUMA!"

"FINE! I'll show you the true error in your ways! You will see that your blatant disregard for all forms of logic will prove to be your downfall! Witness my folly that will become yours, as I will get brutally rejected to forsake your retarded claims! WATCH MY SPECTACULAR FAILURE, AOGAMI PIERCE!"

"Just don't go after Maika, nyah~" Tsuchimikado said, nonplussed by all of this as our spiky-haired friend stormed out of the room in a determined fury. However, he soon came to his senses when he realized the gravity of the situation. Bolting from his seat, both he and Aogami flanked Kamijou as the trio made their way to the battlefield of choice. The school cafeteria. Quickly spotting the girl he had in mind, he made a beeline for her, the two other idiots following close behind. She was a modestly endowed girl, with a head of nicely styled brown hair that went down to the middle of her back.

"Um… Yusa-san?" Kamijou choked out. _Dammit, why is this so hard? Let's just get it out and shove those stupid notions up Aogami's ass!_

"O-Oh, hello there, Kamijou-kun. What can I do for you?" Yusa replied, a faint pink dusting her cheeks.

"W-Well, uh…" _Come on, Kamijou! Push! PUSSHHH! _"I-I…"

"I have always had feelings for you! So please, would you please go out with me!?" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Oh boy. In that instant, the entire cafeteria went silent. Not a single sound. Just silence. Both Kamijou's and Yusa's faces were beet red as the awkward silence permeated the room. Then came the explosions. Food was flung every which way as Aogami and Tsuchimikado watched on in amazement. Rising above the din of the clattering of various foodstuffs and utensils were the somewhat-triumphant cheers of the male populace of the school while every female present began to cry in anger. Horrible, white-hot anger. Yes, feel your rage… harness it.

"IT'S OVER! THE DISEASE IS OVER!"

"WE'VE PREVAILED! YESSSS!"

"EMI! I ALWAYS LOVED YOU!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Things were getting heated. Over to the side, mere feet away from Kamijou's gaping visage, stood a forgotten girl in a Miko outfit. She merely stood there with a blank face, a single lonely tear running down her face. "I-I was right here…"

Seemingly snapped back to her senses, Yusa shook her head several times, looked Kamijou in the eye and gave him her answer…

* * *

"SSSSEEEENNNNNNPPPPPAAAAIIIIIII!"

Everyone froze as the three idiots of the school came barreling down the hallway at Mach something or whatever. It was fast. Anyways, this brought a smile to the face of one Kumokawa Seria. Once again, this wasn't her normal smile, but a smug smile of contentment. All according to keik- plan.

"Uhh… Kumokawa-senpai? I don't want to sound rude, but…" Kamijou started, fidgeting with his hands.

"KAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIJJJJJJOOOOOUUUUU-KUUUUUUUUN!"

The three boys did their best to hide their terror, but all of them flinched. Kamijou started to shudder, while Aogami and Tsuchimikado gulped in sync nervously.

"...we might take you up on your trip after all…" Aogami finished, looking over his shoulder. His eyes opened in shock and awe at what he saw. What could only be described as a battalion_, _no, an entire _army _of teenage females were rushing down the hallway at a breakneck speed.

"Oh my, it seems that you three have gotten yourselves in a bit of a pinch." Kumokawa chuckled daintily while the three boys prepared for another sprint for their lives.

"Well, here are the tickets. Don't lose them now~!" She said, passing the three boys their respective plane tickets.

"THANK YOU, SENPAI!" They yelled, and without further ado, rushed off once more.

At this point, Kumokawa couldn't contain her amusement. She chuckled as the legion of females passed her by. This was, in all honesty, too perfect. Oh, how it felt so good to be in control.

* * *

Meanwhile, our intrepid heroes and split off and made haste for their homes before they were ransacked. Of course, at this point, you must be wondering; why are the girls after our other two friends as well? Well, five things happened in the following sequence…

Aogami and Tsuchimikado proceeded to laugh their asses off as Touma and Yusa stood in an embarrassed silence.

The surrounding females took slow steps toward Kamijou.

They began to close in on our two friends as well.

The girls broke out into a sprint.

The boys ran like hell.

And run they did, as they didn't stop for the next half hour. Eventually ducking through a series of back alleyways and sidestreets, the three boys ended up in a parking garage on the edge of their native District 7, the massive Windowless Building looming over top of them. Stopping to catch their breath, the three idiots conversed once more.

"I think… we finally lost them…" Kamijou uttered out through sputter gasps. Between sprinting from rampant Level 5s, gangs of armed thugs, and murderous magicians, Kamijou Touma had never run as hard as he had in his life. Meanwhile, an absolutely gassed Aogami Pierce picked himself up from off the floor.

"I don't think we're making any more bets any time soon." He muttered, his face a mixture of pained exasperation and overwhelming exhaustion.

"Okay, this is the plan." Cut in Tsuchimikado, bringing the two back to the very painful present. "Our flight's leaving late. We're flying out at 11 o'clock tonight. Meet up at the airport at 9. Tell no one unnecessary." The boys nodded. Without another word, they left for their dorms, preparing to pack for, unbeknownst to them, would end up being the journey of a lifetime.

* * *

"Touma, are you leaving again?"

A certain nun and a certain former magic god both looked at the high school boy as he slung a backpack over his shoulder.

"...Yeah."

"Will you be alright? You aren't going to get involved in something big again, are you?"

"No, for once I'm actually leaving on an honest to goodness vacation." Kamijou chuckled, sliding his shoes on. This wasn't totally a lie. He needed some downtime that _didn't _involve the violent evisceration of his bank account. "Othinus, make sure they don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Komoe-sensei will look after you both but…"

"What are you talking about, human? You're taking all the stupid with you." Othinus snorted. "Still, be careful out there, okay? You won't have us to whip you back in line."

"Heh, sure. And by the way, dinner's in the fridge! Maika will help you with it."

"Okay! Safe travels, Touma!"

And with that, Kamijou Touma stepped out of his dorm and into the refreshing Academy City evening. Little did he know, that this would be the last time he would see the city for quite some time.

* * *

"Are the preparations complete?" Spoke a dark and gravelly voice, emanating from a man cloaked not in shadows, but in a sterile white light. The room he stood in was stark white, much like the light fixtures built into the ceiling. The room was minimal, very minimal, consisting of a single white bed, an end table of the colour, and a desk in the corner from which the man was using to contact the people on the other side.

"Yes, master. The Northern Division is ready for their cleansing." Came a female voice.

"Yeah, the European Division is prepared." Said another, one with a slick and smoother tone.

"All preparations have been confirmed. The Far West Division is standing by for your command." Said a gruff voice, akin to one of a drill sergeant.

The man in white smirked. "Good. Then let it be known… the Cleansing shall begin. Let us all be washed away…" He beckoned.

"Let us all be washed away." His underlings chorused back. The man in white couldn't help but smirk again.

* * *

Meanwhile, the textbook smirk or perfect smile was nowhere to be found on the face of Kumokawa Seria, who paced down a dimly lit hallway, her mouth creased in a thin line. Walking beside her was a man in rich clothing. Tsugutoshi Kaizumi, one of twelve members of Academy City's Board of Directors. The two walked in silence, the only sound to be heard is the clicking and clacking of their shoes against hard metal flooring. Eventually, the two entered a room, Tsugutoshi's own office. Sitting down on opposite ends of a desk, the two began to converse.

"I take it you managed to get Kamijou Touma and his friends out of the city?" The man asked, pouring himself a glass of water from the jug on his table. If it was one thing to be noted about Tsugutoshi, is that he never drank alcohol unless things got stressful, and when you had someone like Kumokawa Seria working with you, things were seldom stressful.

"Yes, yes I did. Though it did turn out a little different than I'd imagined." Kumokawa allowed herself a little chuckle there. "Things got… interesting."

"I'm sure it did." Tsugutoshi chuckled a little once more, taking a sip of his water. "I still don't understand why you sent the Imagine Breaker out of the city. Wouldn't he be more beneficial to our endeavours inside the city?"

Kumokawa's brow furrowed once more. "Don't worry, I think the boy will serve a much larger purpose outside the city. Besides, he has had enough troubles of his own already. Too much will break anyone, even Kamijou Touma. Think of him like a top-of-the-line chef's knife. He'll get the job done, but use him too much without sharpening, and he will dull."

"That is one way of thinking about it. Still, I trust your judgement, Kumokawa."

"Don't worry sir, it's all part of the plan." Kumokawa poured herself a glass of water. "All part of the plan."

* * *

"Wait, Alaska?!" The three boys had met up at the gate, but only after Kamijou had been pulled aside by security, not for reasons that were dangerous for the general public, but because all the members of the security force knew what usually happened when Kamijou went overseas and wished him whatever modicum of luck he could maintain. This fact alone was enough to send the unlucky boy into a pit of despair and had to be dragged to the gate.

"E-45, E-46, there! E-47!" Tsuchimikado said, plopping his backpack between his legs as he sat down in one of the many seats at the gate. Aogami quickly joined him after depositing Kamijou on a nearby seat as well.

"So, where's our destination? Aruba? Jamaica?" Aogami asked eccentrically, pretending to be enthralled by the aspect of visiting a new nation, but both boys knew that he really wanted to see foreign girls in swimsuits at resorts.

"Let's see… It's in the United States… It's… Alaska!?"

And this brings our heroes to this current moment, as they sat on an empty self-flying plane, with a course set for Anchorage in Alaska. The plane had no staff on it whatsoever, which would normally be a massive violation of protocol, but for some reason, the flight was cleared anyways. Not thinking too much of it, as they merely wished to get the hell out of the city as fast as possible, lest they face the wrath of a legion of females, the three boys plopped themselves in a set of seats near the front of the plane and prepared for a long and gruelling flight.

"Wake me up when we get there." Was what Kamijou had said. They never got there.

* * *

At 6 and a half hours in, the plane designated S-419 began to shudder. You see, this flight was hastily cleared at the behest of an individual representing the Board of Directors, who insisted everything would be fine. This flight was cleared, and the course was plotted. However, one minor oversight was made. The left aileron had recently undergone a replacement, and the bolts had been hastily inserted to make way from the early departure. As such, there was no time for a tech test. Normally this would've been fine, as there would've been back-up systems to allow the plane to detect most structural issues. However, all of them tripped negative, and the issue went unnoticed, somehow.

S-419 held itself together as long as its failing structural integrity could, but alas, it wasn't enough, and the left aileron sheared right off of the wing. Now, problems had really begun when the aileron began to wobble hard before it fell, as miraculously, one side of the airplane part managed to maintain its hold for just a few seconds longer, drastically altering its flight path when it detached. And detach it did. It flew right off… right into the rudder of the aircraft. S-419 was going down, no doubt about it, and the three high school boys were none the wiser… at least, until they woke up.

* * *

"O-Oi, Tsuchimikado, are you sure you can fly this?" Aogami asked shakily. He had been jolted away when he felt the jolt of the aileron slamming into the tail of the plane, as well as Tsuchimikado. Kamijou, however, was nowhere to be found. The two boys were situated in the pilot's cabin, as even though this was a self-flying plane, there were usually people on board to facilitate the systems and whatnot. Sitting in the captain's chair, Tsuchimikado grasped the controls with sweaty hands. Being a scientific magical super spy didn't mean anything when he had to _pilot a commercial jetliner. _

"I-I should, nyah." He gulped.

Attempting to pull the plane out of its downward spiral, Tsuchimikado yanked the yoke into his stomach before stomping hard on one of the pedals to attempt to regulate the spinning of the aircraft. However, there was no effect. Nothing at all. That's when it occurred to him to look at the damage readout on the vast array of screens in front of him. The alert was fairly easy to find, with the blaring message in red that read; "LEFT AILERON DETACHED. RUDDER COMPROMISED."

All Tsuchimikado and Aogami could manage was "uh oh."

Meanwhile, Kamijou Touma was in the aft portion of the plane when the rudder had been sheared off, taking with it a large portion of the tail as well. One of the emergency exits next to him was smashed right off. Of course, Kamijou had no idea of that. Why? Because he was in the lavatory taking a shit. So as the plane pitched over and over, the unlucky boy could only sit on the toilet. "It's always planes! IT'S ALWAYS PLANES!" He wailed, clutching to the toilet like there was no tomorrow because there might as well have been no tomorrow.

And so, Academy City Airliner S-410 went down over the Alaskan wilderness, and amidst the din of crashing steel and the whipping winds, one scream could be heard.

"SUUUUUCCCHHHHH MIIIIIIIISSSSSFFFFFOOOORRRRRTTTTTUUUUUUUNNNNEEE!"


End file.
